My Girlfriend's in a Coma

Thu, 11 Oct 2012 12:38:41 +0100

Computer: Monitor, display this document, okay?
Monitor: No prob, boss.
Computer: Okay, now it looks like the mouse is moving around. Monitor, can you move the pointer icon accordingly?
Monitor: Anything you ask, boss.
Computer: Great, great, okay. Mouse, where are you going now?
Mouse: Over the icon panel, sir.
Computer: Hmm, let me know if he clicks anything, okay?
Mouse: Of course.
Keyboard: Sir, he's pressed Ctrl and P simultaneously.
Monitor: Oh god, here we go.
Computer: *sigh* Printer, are you there?
Printer: No.
Computer: Please, Printer, I know you're there.
Printer: No! I'm not here! Leave me alone!
Computer: Jesus. Okay, you really nee-
Mouse: Sir! He's clicked on the printer icon.
Computer: Printer, now you have to print it twice.
Printer: No! No! No! I don't want to! I hate you! I hate printing! I'm turning off!
Computer: Printer, you know you can't turn yourself off. Just print the document twice and we'll leave you alone.
Printer: No! That's what you always say! I hate you! I'm out of ink!
Computer: You are not out of in-
Printer: I'M OUT OF INK!
Computer: *sigh* Monitor, please show a low ink level alert.
Monitor: But sir, he has plen-
Computer: Just do it, damn it!
Monitor: Yes sir.
Keyboard: Ahhh! He's hitting me!
Computer: Stay calm. He'll stop soon. Stay calm, old friend.
Keyboard: He's pressing everything. Oh god, I don't know, he's just pressing everything!
Computer: PRINTER! Are you happy now? See what you've done!
Printer: Ha! That's what you get for trying to make me do work. Next time he- hey! HEY! He's trying to open me! HELP! HELP! Oh god, he's torn out my cartridge! PLEASE! Help! Error!
Monitor: Sir, maybe we should try to help him?
Computer: No. He did this to himself.

misunderstood and disillusioned i go on describing this place...

Sat, 23 Jun 2012 12:02:55 +0100

misunderstood and disillusioned
i go on describing this place
and the way it feels to live and die

the natural world and whatever else it’s called
i drive in and out of town
seeing no edge, breathing sky

and it’s hard to describe
without seeming absurd
i know no there’s no other world
mountains and websites

Photo

Mon, 11 Jun 2012 11:51:00 +0100

A nice film about how we all deserve love, no matter who...

Sun, 10 Jun 2012 12:15:00 +0100

A nice film about how we all deserve love, no matter who it’s from.

Made by someone I love very much.

Lancaster University: It’s Time (by LUItsTime)

Got it in one

Fri, 01 Jun 2012 23:13:15 +0100

Got it in one

Must motivate self. Get out of house and think about something...

Tue, 29 May 2012 14:24:37 +0100

Must motivate self. Get out of house and think about something else…

Heh.

Tue, 29 May 2012 12:14:16 +0100

Heh.

Sleigh Bells - Demons (Diplo Remix)

Wed, 23 May 2012 11:52:07 +0100

midnightxdrive:

Photo

Mon, 14 May 2012 21:50:09 +0100

Grandpa

Fri, 11 May 2012 01:05:33 +0100

Grandpa:

Okay, you see this?

THIS is the saddest film of all time.

I dare you to try to make it to the end without breaking into floods of tears. I double dare you motherfucker.

It’s that good.

Photo

Wed, 09 May 2012 22:58:16 +0100

Photo

Sat, 28 Apr 2012 23:46:11 +0100

Photo

Thu, 26 Apr 2012 10:02:25 +0100

Really beautiful and eerie mix by Julia Holter for FACT. Combines found art with some tracks from...

Tue, 10 Apr 2012 21:06:00 +0100

Really beautiful and eerie mix by Julia Holter for FACT. Combines found art with some tracks from her new album. More of this, please.

http://www.factmag.com/2012/02/13/fact-mix-316-julia-holter/

I didn’t watch the new episode of Mad Men but this sets...

Tue, 27 Mar 2012 16:17:29 +0100

I didn’t watch the new episode of Mad Men but this sets new standards for singing sexily in French.

Today was a Good Day

Fri, 23 Mar 2012 20:15:00 +0000

Finally got some new tires for my bike. Hit up the charity shop game in Pimlico, picking through the discarded and unwanted finery of our betters. Got a Valentino tie and everything.

The sun shone throughout.

“They should ship copies of Mass Effect 3 with a glass of...

Wed, 21 Mar 2012 20:17:48 +0000

“They should ship copies of Mass Effect 3 with a glass of red and a chicken drumstick as I enjoy being wined and dined before getting fucked.”

Worst. Ending. Ever.

Wed, 21 Mar 2012 20:12:56 +0000

Worst. Ending. Ever.

Deeply chill vibes from Mister Lies.

Sun, 18 Mar 2012 19:22:47 +0000

Deeply chill vibes from Mister Lies.

OHMIGOD NOT MORDIN NOOOOO Oh and I totally cheated on Liara for...

Fri, 16 Mar 2012 16:50:00 +0000

OHMIGOD NOT MORDIN NOOOOO

Oh and I totally cheated on Liara for hot lesbian shower sex with cockney super scientist comm officer.